Do You Hear Me? I’m Breaking Up With You
Dear T-Mobile,
I have absolutely no right to complain. I claim to hate you so much, yet I still latch on. Am I scared to see us part?
Two weeks ago I found out I could break up with you fee-free and I have yet to do it. Additionally, if I really despised you the way I think I do, I could have just paid the cancellation fee and chocked it up as a learning experience.
If I had to guess the number of times a day you disrupt my life in some manner I would estimate 20. Between the lost calls and shoddy connections 20 now seems too low.
And I also don’t find you to be very intelligent. In fact, I find you inaccurate and fickle. I cannot rely on you; when I receive important phone calls I have to take the elevator down 49 floors and sit on a withered couch in the lobby just to get a signal. A lousy signal at that.
You used to be the coolest guy in school. In college, all the girls wanted the Sidekick I, II, and III. I was blinded by your flash and your promises of Swarovski-studded handhelds. But you did not deliver. I had to glue them on myself.
I think I am ready to unglue myself from you now T-Mobile.
Do you hear me? (Proably not, I lost my signal.)
