Dance, nails. dance.

Mysteriously repeated apartment listings on Craigslist, over-aggressive brokers with outrageous fees (and even more over-the-top tactics to “motivate” you to rent) and perfectly orchestrated apartment viewings in which four other home-seekers are viewing “the last available apartment” simultaneously are part of of the rental game in NYC.

When I was in college at UC Santa Barbara it was pretty simple : In January the handful of rental agencies would publish a list of availabilities, you knock on doors, look inside garbage-laden apartments with carpets that resembled putting greens, say “ehh that will do” and you would sign. You would sign in January for a lease in June. Done. Back to life.

NYC renting is a whole ‘nother ballpark.

I’m new to the game and quickly found that looking on Craigslist for available units was almost as pathetic as thinking I was hand-selected form the King of Nigeria to take part in a secret money transfer. With my new-found knowledge, I set out on Saturday with Ben (although we don’t have a definitive area or month in mind) to look for luxury buildings that would satisfy our price range and needs (basically, it needs to have a fancy gym.)

Tackling Midtown West (they seem to have a plethora of affordable luxury buildings) we were able to view three in a five hour time period….in a two block radius.

Building 1 (shall remain nameless). Not much to report. It had a terrace (woohoo) but the apartment itself was very lackluster, not to mention the “oh wait I just got word I have one unit available can you be ready to move almost immediately it will go so fast,” tactic thrown at us. Pass.

Building 2 sat right on the water and had amazing views. Despite the smell of a poorly assembled lunch disseminating through the dimly-lit halls, we were shown a 1-bedroom with views of the yachts, water and New Jersey. (Woohoo for New Jersey views). The selling point was their massive gym which housed a full cardio and weight area, full basketball court which has capabilities to set up a volleyball net (you better believe that was the first thing I asked), a full spa and a putting green! Still, we were really rushed through the building and didn’t have a great feeling about the units. The kitchen’s had fake granite counter-tops, bad fixtures and sloppy updates (I thank Danny for this knowledge).

Building 3 was our favorite. A six minute walk from the 42nd street subway, the lobby, kitchen’s and bathroom are really what did me over. The perfect ending to a not-so great search we both thought…..until the slew of angry tennants barged into the leasing office while we were sitting in the agent’s DWR chairs. In a matter of thirty minutes we experienced an enraged tenant who fought tooth and nail (in front of us) about her gym membership, a sleazy apartment-seeker who would not leave the building, and a squatter sleeping on an air-mattress in the studio alcove we wanted to view. Really, really weird.

At the end of the day we decided to give Chelsea a looksy and both nearly collapsed by its beauty. We didn’t view any units because we arrived after 5pm, but will definitely revisit the area at some point….if we figure out when we even want to move out.

I will say that the strangest differece between NYC apt-hunting and California is the timing. On March 29th all three agents were confused as to why I was there, they were only closing April 1 openings. Who the EFFFF searches for an apartment two days before the lease starts. Jesus.