October 2008
59 posts
Watch
September 2008
29 posts
WatchTina Fey is A. Mazing.
WatchTina Fey is A. Mazing.
It’s 2:30AM and we just got home from a long night of dinner and bar/lounge hopping with Deena and Cara. Walking up to our apartment I spotted a homeless man sleeping against my building. Nothing new, except I noticed that his leg was shaking from what I assumed to be the misty and rainy night. I came in the house and decided to give him one of my extra chenille throw blankets. I was nervous...
Yay for friends!
Mystery friends are here…
Chriopracted
I’ve always tossed chiropractors into the same pool as psychics and black magic. In fact, I think it would be safe to say, judging my severe inflexibility, that I’ve knocked stretching into that murky water as well.
Today was my second appointment with the chiropractor. I like the office because not only is it a sport rehab facility filled with QUALIFIED trainers, but my chiropracter...
I'm fired up
I just got home playing four games of volleyball and I’m all fired up.
The Emmy's
Umm, did anyone see Mary Tyler Moore’s arms?
Watching MTV's Top Pop Group
Me: Do you think you would have a better chance becoming a fabulous dancer or singer?
Ben: Um...
Me: I know, but I just mean which do you think you would be better at being great at?
Ben: I have a better chance at becoming a unicorn.
More visitors, yay!
I spent the first six months in New York un-visted and unloved (cue the “awww’s). But within the last few weeks I have had so many guests I can’t keep track. Yesterday I counted, and I think there are 19 people in September/October visiting me/going to be in New York. Many have other engagements while here, but I pretend that those are secodnary. My mom came a few weeks ago, my...
Trying to find the strength to go to the Budget Fashionista party…
There. Is. A. Freaking. Hole. At. The. Bottom. Of. My. Giuseppe Zanotti. Sandals.
A hole. Like from walking.
“You can have a surrogate boyfriend to take to fashion shows with no...”
– Ben.
Wait, what? I'm STANDING?
I just got home my feet are killing me, I went to three previews and one fashion show where I was, um, given a Standing placard. At press check in, I was handed the the award for editor-unworthy-of-sitting. I would not accept the award, infact I pulled the ugly, “oh no I have seats,” move but was told to go up to the seventh floor for a seating fix. So I hiked up seven flights of...
McCain's Voice Mail to Palin Leaked to Press... →
I don’t have a platform, nor do I engage—ever—in policital discusstions/rants/fights/debates. All I do is listen—this made me laugh.
Community Pools in New York
12: 45 PM-- Two embarrassingly naive poolgoers, Ben and I, walk around the block to a pool I discovered.
Security Guard: Mmmm, do you have a lock?
Me: A lock, no.
Security Guard [shoves hand in my chest]: You can't go in without a lock.
Me: OK, do you sell or rent locks here?
Security Guard: No.
Me [attempting my clutch how-to-appease-upset-people-who-have-something-you-want move]: OK. So what would you go do then?
Security Guard [not happy with me]: I'd GO and buy a lock.
[Ben goes to buy a lock, I take only a towel and my cell phone to head in]
Security Guard: And where are you going?
Me [Nervous and stuttering]: Oh, he went to go buy a lock I'm just gonna hang by the pool.
Security Guard: You can sit right there [points at a bench].
Me: Oh no, I'm gonna go wait by the pool.
Security Guard: No you can't go out there, you can only wear white clothing.
Me: Ummm...what?
Security Guard [Pointing at a million signs, all of which mention recycling]: See it says it right here.
Me: Huh? Fine, I'll take it off in the locker room.
Security Guard: Uh...alright. Make a right at the first door.
[With my shameful blue dress hidden underneath my towel I head to the pool]
New Security Guard: Stop! You cannot have cell phones by the pool.
Me: Oh I'll put it in my locker. You see I'm just waiting for my boyfriend who went to get a--
New Security Guard: I don't care. You can't go out with cell phones. And you're blocking the door please step aside.
[Where the eff am I?]
[Ben arrives, I give him the rundown, we put everything into the locker and nervously head outside one more time.]
Same Security Guard: Stop! You need to wash off before you go outside.