June 2008
120 posts
“Hi Mrs. Ingram it’s Brandon I’m just calling you back to confirm...”
– Wrong number. Should I call Brandon back? What if he doesn’t get to go to yearbook camp and it’s all my fault?
Showering without a shower curtain is a total nightmare.
Gramercy to Columbus Circle
I had to take three subways to get to the Newsweek building this morning. I never thought I would say this, but NYC needs more subways. Less stops, but more paths.
So what exactly do you do?
Me: I never know how to explain the kind of software you program. How should I answer that when people ask me?
Ben: You can say software tools for other developers.
Me: Makes sense.
Ben: Or project management software.
Ben: Or you can say fireman.
My aunt Chuck just called me and left the following message:
“Hi Riv, you’re probably exhausted and soaking in a tub with a bottle of champagne and a cigarette.”
Close.
Protein bar and water.
Just finished moving
It was intense and grueling at times. With just two people (one sick and the other “strong like bull”) it took a bit longer than expected to pack up the truck. And then we got lost. A few times. Apparently trucks aren’t permitted on FDR. But Mariel came through in the clutch and helped us unload which made all the difference. We started moving at 7:15 a.m. and finished at 1 p.m....
So much for the expensive A/C
Tonight we went to the vacant apartment to set up the A/C unit. The darn thing was so banged up I literally think it was mangled by a werewolf (or a New Yorker). Bed Bath and Beyond is going to get an earful tomorrow. I refuse to take it back. I want a refund, and I want it picked up. Picked up by someone wearing white gloves. On a horse.
I took pictures of the broken unit with my new camera...
Have you ever noticed that when filling out profiles, whether it is to set up a new checking account or wireless service, they prompt you to answer personal questions that are…well impossible to answer.
Today, while signing up for my new wireless provider I was asked to answer the following:
Last name of your favorite elementary school teacher:
(Uhh, I barely remember the name of my...
“The last two days have felt like I’m on Amazing Race or something and my...”
– me.
OMG
Me: Here now take this for your cough and body aches.
Ben: But I never take medicine, what is it?
Me: It's regular cold medicine but you probably won't even fall asleep.
[I give him Nyquil]
[30 minutes pass]
Ben: Did you roofie me?
A bit of nepotism →
More and more I find myself drawn to Slate articles; they are well done. (And it’s not becuase they work on the next floor.)
“We will give you snacks now but don’t complain when there aren’t any...”
– Jet Blue stewardess
The Friendly Skies
To: Anyone that says they have bad luck when it comes to flying.
Memo: I double dog dare you to meet Ben and me.
Girl Sends 14,590 Text Messages In One Month →
Quite the achievement.
The New Way To Get News. →
I love it. No information, no facts, just the end result. Just like in HS. I want to know the answer I don’t care how it happened!
Do You Hear Me? I'm Breaking Up With You
Dear T-Mobile,
I have absolutely no right to complain. I claim to hate you so much, yet I still latch on. Am I scared to see us part?
Two weeks ago I found out I could break up with you fee-free and I have yet to do it. Additionally, if I really despised you the way I think I do, I could have just paid the cancellation fee and chocked it up as a learning experience.
If I had to guess the number...
Not sure if she was alarmed by ice on Mars or the...
Me: Is it true that Mars Phoenix announced they found ice on Mars through Twitter?
Colleague : Um wow, if that is true -
Me: It' on Wired.com
Me: What happened to good ole' press releases?
Colleague: The end of days is close at hand.
Me: : http://twitter.com/marsphoenix
Colleague: Yikes, I'm going into hiding.
Me: Well on the bright side, this makes publicists obsolete...and that my friend is a great thing.
Confessions of a Starbucks Barista. →
I’ve never reblogged. I know there is a formality I should follow but I’m really on my own when it comes to tumblin’, so I think that should give me a pass.
Looks like I’ll be moving on Wednesday!
Mom Must Think Highly
Me: So are you buying your ticket to come here tomorrow?
Mom: Why don't you come here, you're not doing anything Friday.
Me: I have to go into work, I have so many pages I need to build.
Mom: For what, Twig?
Moving Men
Me: Ooohh look at the sign. It says $19 per truck, man, and hour.
Ben: ....
Me: That's cheaper than doing it ourselves.
Ben: Who are these men?
“There is a real vulgarity in the way women dress at the moment,”
– said the man behind his leopard and zebra print fabric.
http://www.nysun.com/style/robert-cavalli-in-cannes/78617/
National Treasure
Only because I went and saw Indiana Jones 4 on opening weekend (mind you I still haven’t garnered the strength to see SATC), and rented National Treasure 2 from itunes last weekend did I find the following amazing. If you haven’t seen both (which I’m gonna go ahead and guess that includes everyone) you most likely will not find the below funny.
HARRISON FORD
What are we doing in...
Alaska Experiement Interviewing for Season II →
There are a multitude of reasons why I would not be a good candidate for this show (I don’t catch, decapitate, or even eat fish. I have zero desire to skin animals, and - oh - how could I forget, I don’t particularly care for enormous and violent brown bears).
But if anyone out there likes that stuff I would love to know someone on this show. I’m such a AE groupie now.
I met two old friends/colleagues for lunch today at Spring Street Natural. Somehow all of my “lets catch up” lunches always send me there.
There are only so many topics of conversation you get can into when limited by a lunch catch-up. Even with an incredibly slow server (like we had today) you can’t expect to get past “so tell me everything.”
It seems as though...
“Her toes are out, she must be trouble!”
– the outlandish man in the subway.
Hey Jim! Use these on Dwight please. →
Things I Could Use:
I’d like to start moving things in this weekend. Here is a list of things I could use.
1. A vehicle. Preferably an SUV. Really preferably a Hybrid SUV.
2. An extra set of Mies van der Rohe couches. Preferably black but I will also consider white.
3. Tons of Marimekko pillows.
4. Someone to move these things for me.
5. A unicorn.
